Plant

If my emotions are like my foot, then wearing a boot all my life is not a good way to go. It’s nice for temporary protection. But for a true sense of healing I need to be able to be free to flex my emotional joints and learn about myself. I need to strengthen the weak parts of my heart. I need to do simple exercises and stretches. I need to heal the inflammation too. It seems so obvious. I asked Christopher why I couldn’t find answers so readily for my heart, for

my brain. Why it only took weeks to see results in my foot problems. He said the brain is quite a bit more complicated than the foot. My father is a brain doctor. I don’t know if I’ve ever asked him questions about this sort of thing.

Anyway, I think I have been tempted to just restrict myself, a la Overeaters Anonymous. To be abstinent. But isn’t that wearing a boot? I won’t develop emotional strength that way. Or is that the path to strength? But it isn’t just strength. It’s flexibility. Anyway, I see an analogy somewhere in here, I’d say. Between the physical and the emotional. I’d say it isn’t too far fetched.

These watches are an example. I’m flexing. I’m trying something. I’m expanding my horizons. I guess I shouldn’t be judgmental of myself. Maybe there are other ways, less expensive ways, I can do this. Now I have a working theory. That’s a start. That’s better than nothing. Even the candy I ate tonight was consumed in an effort to flex myself emotionally, intellectually, humanistically. But aren’t there less unhealthy ways to do it? I think so, yes. But it’s not like I murdered someone, right? Other than myself, slowly. I have to be a little easier, more forgiving, on myself. That’s two steps, right? Being easier on myself, and being a little more open ended about ways to flex my emotional side of myself.