Twofold

I could listen to music. I could do some of my newfound Pilates. I don't even know what that word means. And yet I am highly affected by it. Maybe it means, "How to be a bad ass" in Latin. I could even practice. It's interesting to weigh choices, isn't it. It's interesting to try to determine the most appropriate and beneficial one at any given moment. I say that partly because I have often had the tendency to try not to make choices. To zone. Therefore to bequeath my choice-making to others. That's a tricky business.

If I am careful enough, it's really better to make the choices myself. In the first place, I learn about myself and who I am by the process of endeavoring in the direction I've chosen. Plus I am certainly more likely, by this stage of my existence, to do what fits me best, versus someone else's best guess. I don't think there's any danger of my becoming completely autonomous or never relying on and opening myself up to others. That is seemingly not in my nature. I'm just in the habit of tweaking. I'm a tweaker. Change or Suffer, as my longtime friend says (passed forward from another).

So instead I am here, with my Macbook, composing this piece of myself. It is in fact later on, and I have done those other things in the meantime, but I wanted to close the piece with a finished thought. I do find this expressive outlet equally crucial to the above ones, but isn't it all too often neglected? Again, it is a choice that I'd be wise to avail myself of. What can I say? It must be one of those human things. I have been finding myself full of pride in the knowledge that I am a member of that species, no more, no less. I also like to attribute and observe in that category my baby boy, who is so extremely pure in his mammal/human-hood. What is cuter than all the innate developmental steps of a human/primate child? It is their underdevelopment that is so fascinating and adorable to follow, certainly for an adult human like me.